we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
