just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
