just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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