Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
