oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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