You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we have pet lesbian snakes
So drunk its hurt
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
