I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
