I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
