why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
