ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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