we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
