Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
