The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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