I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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