She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He kissed a someone with a penis
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
