Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
