so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
