i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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