i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
