How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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