This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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