woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
