my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
