If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
