He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
