these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
