I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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