And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
