You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
