Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
