break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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