I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
