I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
