I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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