I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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