Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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