Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
