The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
