we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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