i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
