I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
