Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
