She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
