I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
