It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
