so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
