this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize