the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
