he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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