I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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