guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
