WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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